Problematic Men

Problematic – a thing that constitutes a problem or difficulty

Ephesians 6:12 – For we wrestle not against flesh and blood , but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.


This blog was written to inspire those who are experiencing or have experienced abuse, neglect, and abandonment in their lives from problematic men. Learn how to fight back, win, and move forward in finding God’s destiny and purpose for your life.

Most of us women as young girls dreamed and fantasized about our wedding day and our dream husband.  I did and I’m sure a lot of you did too. I would dream of how beautiful my wedding gown would be, my theme, all the details and a happy ever after. But, the reality is, that’s not how it turned out.  My relationship and marriage started out rough and turbulent and that’s how it ended.

As a young person I struggled with my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ. I first excepted Jesus into my life at the age of 16.  It was a on and off thing.  Never could get it together, stay the course, and grow in Christ like I needed to.  I think my upbringing played a huge part in that.  I grow up in a very dysfunctional home.  Even though my parents went to church they did not do a good job in showing me how to be the christian the bible calls us to be.  They argued and fought a lot and infidelity had it’s place in their marriage.  My father died when I was 10 and my mother was left with the responsibility to raise me and my younger brother. We did suffer mental and physical abuse.  My mother had several boyfriends that lived in the home with us from time to time and she would have fights with them.  She suffered from a gambling addiction that was at times just to much to deal with.  And yet we were still going to church while all this dysfunction was going on around us. So, just giving you a little of my childhood background you probably are starting to see where lot of my problems began.  The enemy had a plan to bring destruction into my life from childhood.  I could have turned to drugs and prostitution,  but I have a testimony today. God’s grace kept me on the right path through all the craziness. The Lord would not allow me to go down that road as so many others have.

For a lot of us women when we meet a guy he’s start’s off being so nice and considerate. He really goes above and beyond to impress you.  We can get so caught up in the bliss that we miss all the warning signs.  We dive in head first without doing our due diligence and taking our time to get to really know him. If we could learn to do that, we would miss a lot of pitfalls and not get into a relationship or marriage with a guy that we would come to regret.  Time is on your side, time is your friend when it comes to these situations. We rush into relationships and marriages prematurely. One day you wake up and realize things are not the same.  His whole demeanor has changed.  He’s not the man you meet and you start to wonder how did you end up in this mess. Well, this is what happened to me. I’m sure a lot of you may have experienced the same thing. Research shows that men that change personalities after some time in a relationship has been through some sort of abuse or has had a traumatic experience in their lives, normally as a child and they have never came face to face with dealing with that issue in a positive and therapeutic way.  They have never dealt with their demons. Unfortunately,  they carry this burden around and most times hide it very well when you meet them. So, what normally happens is in any relationship that they come into, they bring the burden into that relationship and it spills over into our lives. This is the reason the abuse starts and before you know your also a victim just like he is. If your in a relationship or marriage and your a victim of any kind of abuse you need to get out of that situation asap. These kind of men are in need of serious counseling.

This is not a message to bash men and give up hope.  There are good men out there but we have to take the time to really know what kind of man we are dealing with before getting to involved.  Do your homework, take plenty of time because your worth it and you deserve better. Remember, time is on your side and so is God.